Water
by tkb.femme
Summary: Alison and Remy get wet. Femslash
1. Chapter 1

**I own nothing. The only good stories are ones for adults, so the rating's there for a reason...**

The water rippled off her shoulder blades, the tiny droplets soon enveloping her as the pool swallowed her seamless dive. Nearly quivering in delight, the woman smiled as she gleamed through the large enclosure, small bubbles popping around her as the depths surrendered their cool refreshment.

In life, there are very few things as naturally erotic as that first leap into water. It encompasses your entire being; swirling, swallowing, sucking, and tenderly embracing you in its tangible grasp like a passionate lover. It kisses you everywhere, leaving you breathless, its offerings are infectious, and like a good fuck, you always come back yearning for more. Whether in lakes, still in mountain air, oceans as enraged as a summer storm, or a simple pool, chlorinated to its gills, the same sensual zest is evoked; the calm unknown, the exciting, the orgasmic. And the olympic sized pool at the Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital was no different.

Alison broke the surface of the water and drew in a large breath, blinking off the tiny drops that clung to her lashes. Lifting her arms, she propelled through the water in strong strokes, from one end of the pool to the other. She had always been a swimmer, not just because it was a great exercise, keeping her strong, lean, and tone, but because she'd never been blind to its ethereal gifts. The doctor strummed back and forth, lap after lap, oblivious to anything but the cool water and the addictive burning in her muscles. Finally, after an hour or so, she exhaled a definitive gasped and flipped onto her back, allowing herself to float.

The gym was quite. Not one human step or creak of a locker door could be heard. The only thing audible, other than the girl's breathing, was her movements and the quite slough of the water against the pool steps. Alison hadn't felt this relaxed in weeks. Every case had been fucking ridiculous; she was an idiot to have surrendered her time to House. It wasn't like she had anything else to do, her department was very much like herself; proficient, prompt, and immaculate. She supposed that if it wasn't for that persistent lure of the unknown she never would have bothered entering back into the dungeon layer of the hospital with its lording devil.

But Cuddy had asked. Both Taub and Kutner decided to bail. One quit, and the other headed for a well earned vacation. Despite the fact that Dr. Cameron didn't really care what House wanted or needed, that shipped sailed years ago, Cuddy had asked. She came right to her office, smiled pleadingly, commented on a new pair of shoes she'd purchased, and she asked. And Cameron couldn't say no to Cuddy. She was both boss and friend. No wasn't really an option.

She knew it wasn't like it was really Lisa's idea, Alison was sure Greg had intervened with that suggestion, but she still somewhat resented her boss for even implying such a foolish torture. Despite the thrill of the chase, the adrenaline, and the rush she got from working in diagnostics, she hated working with House, regardless of his brilliant nature. He was a cad. Dr. Cameron had made up her mind when she quit that she didn't have to put up with him just to save lives, even if the hunts for those lives wouldn't be as exhilarating as she had grown accustomed.

Besides the complacent truth of Greg's constant impudence, and the inescapable presence of people dying and demanding cures, the last few days had proved to be interesting. Dr. Hadley, or Thirteen, as most referred, made everything a little bit…better. It was different working with House and another woman as close and involved as she had once been. They'd formulated a team, the two girls. Them versus House, and surprisingly, House had a hard time reining the strong willed pair.

It was almost bearable. There was laughing, rarely any disagreement, with the exception of House of course, and everything seemed to run smoothly. Remy and Alison worked in tandem, each one stepping and bending to work with the other. It was almost bearable. Had it not been for that constant seductive glare the beautiful brunette kept flashing at her, and the warm embarrassed cheeks Alison knew she carried around all day, everything would have been pretty damn perfect. Well, as perfect as they could be in the Diagnostics department anyways. In short, Alison had developed quite a fondness for the woman.

Remembering the hot glances Remy had flashed her way, Alison submerged herself and allowed her body to settle to the bottom. Glaring upwards, the doctor candidly expelled bubbles, watching them billow up and rise to the surface. It was a cheap thrill, but sedating nonetheless. She found something serene about her surroundings; like she could think of things she would normally never entertain. And it was ok because when she left the pool the water would wash those thoughts away, almost like they had never happened.

The brunette was haunting. She had a quite air of confidence and a classic beauty, something so charming and pleasant Alison felt drawn towards her. She was witty and quick, never missing a beat with House and his remarks, she was intelligent, poised, and she was also kind and thoughtful, their patients had all praised her. But there was a stillness in the woman, a cold void of detachment that made her seem unattainable despite the warmth of her smile. She was like a pool, the doctor decided, calm and beautiful, yet ambiguously deep.

That 'depth' is what made her so intriguing. Sure she was beautiful, stunning actually, and she was smart and caring, but it was that intangible trait, that lurking pool of whimsical tragedy, that made her so distinguishable. It's what drew Alison to her. She wanted to know those depths, she wanted to learn everything there was to learn about her much in the way she learned the curves and the unpredictable dips of a ragged current. She could see it in her eyes, and she could feel it in the soft brushes of her arms and legs as they worked together. Alison wanted to swim in her pool.

Enveloped in thought several feet from the surface, Alison didn't notice the woman she was pondering enter the room. Remy was not there accidently, she'd watched Allison head towards this gym countless times since she began working for House, and figured it wasn't a crime to bump into her. Though no one else seemed to utilize it, she had any justifiable right to be there.

Quietly, Remy opened the large door to the hospital pool and quickly looked around. She wasn't exactly positive how she was going to handle seeing Alison in something as revealing as a bathing suit. It was hard enough to work with her all day covered head to toe in scrubs. After several moments she finally spotted the woman she'd come searching for.

"How's the water?" Remy asked her as Alison bounced back to the surface. Her voice had broken the transfixing reverie that Cameron had so carefully constructed, and her words made the wet doctor jump.

"Shit you scared me!" Alison smile.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to. I've got my suit here but I've never actually jumped in. It isn't too cold is it?"

Eyeing her counterpart Alison briefly considered lying. She wasn't convinced of Dr. Hadley's innocent presence and she wasn't quite sure why. She'd heard the rumors about her replacement on House's team, and the looks Remy had given her sure didn't expel them, but it didn't necessarily mean that they were true. If they were true, so what? One's sexuality didn't define them. Cameron silently scolded herself for being so superficial.

"No. Actually it feels wonderful, you should jump in."

"Alright, be right back, but if it's freezing in there I'll tell House where you hid his pimp cane."

The woman laughed and headed towards the locker room, leaving Alison in the pool, her body flooded with excitement. She didn't know what had gotten into her, but Dr. Thirteen's presence made her jump inside. Again, Alison could feel herself pondering the alluring unknown and decided she needed to get a grip. She was so wrapped up in self manifestations she nearly yelped when Remy dove into the water next to her.

"I didn't scare you again did I, Alison? Geez you really need to relax, I had no clue you were this jumpy!" Remy teased her.

"I'm not this jumpy usually, I'm just tired."

"God so am I, sometimes I feel like I'm always tired."

Alison laughed at her admonition, "Well congratulations, you're a real doctor now!" Both the girls laughed and began recounting the week. The talked about patients, about House, and eventually, about each other.

"So, what's it like being engaged to Mr. Surgeon huh?" Remy had paddled around but now stood within a few feet of Alison.

"It's fine."

"Fine? You're engaged and it's fine?"

"Well what else is it supposed to be Remy? We're both happy, successful, working, we want most of the same things, we don't have everything in common but we compromise. It's practical."

"Practical?" Remy raised an eyebrow in disbelief; surely someone supposed to be in love wouldn't describe their relationship as 'practical.'

"What's wrong with that?" Alison grabbed her hips indignantly. No one challenged her grounds for a substantial relationship. Hell, since she'd left House and began running her own department, no one really questioned her ever about anything.

"Nothing, Alison. I just expected you to say that it was amazing, spectacular, wonderful, fucking maddening, adoring, and well, loving. I thought you'd say something like 'I'm so happy, I'm crazy'." Remy swam a little closer. "You have such a passion for your patients I just assumed you'd express that same feeling for your partner. I thought you might tell me you loved him. You have to admit that 'fine, successful, compromising, and practical,' don't exactly sound like the words of a happy engaged woman. You sounded like a business person regaling some contract."

Alison knew she was right, but her pride wouldn't allow her to readily admit that to Remy. If medicine had taught her anything it was that people die, and you either love them or you don't. She really didn't believe in true love anymore, that was for Disney World fairy tales and high school crushes. Now, all the Alison could see realistically in life was a companionship that was 'fine, successful, compromising, and practical.' Nothing else worked.

"I disagree." Alison turned to get out of the pool was stopped when Remy's hand clutched her wrist.

"I'm sorry Alison, don't leave. I guess I only told you what I wished you would have said. I would like to think your life was a little happier and less serious. I'm wrong to assume anything, I barely know you."

"You're right, you barely know me. I am happy" Alison tugged her arm from Remy's tight grip and exited the pool, grabbing her towel and nearly running to the locker room.

Remy sighed in disgust. She knew Dr. Cameron wasn't in love with Chase. Who could be? He was the hospital pretty boy, the A-list slut. He'd slept with nearly every somewhat attractive nurse on the premises and every other person that worked there. Hell, Remy was pretty damn sure he'd probably picked up a few patients as well. Alison didn't appear to be one to date an individual so promiscuous. He was haughty, a snoot, and the biggest ass-kisser she'd ever met. Surely Alison would want to date someone with balls and not some sniveling prude with an accent.

Gripping the side of the pool, Dr. Hadley pulled herself from the water and wrapped her towel around her slight waist, padding into the locker room where she could hear Alison cursing and slamming doors.

"Alison, hey I didn't mean anything by it. I'm sorry. Believe me, I didn't want to piss you off." It was the first personal discussion they'd had and Remy blew it. The whole thing was aggravating.

Alison seemed to ignore her, grabbing her things and shoving them into her bag. She was so rushed to leave Remy's presence she failed to notice her immodest nudity. Covered in jeans and a bra only, Dr. Cameron wrung out her wet suit before slamming it back in the locker and turned to face Remy, her wet hair flickering in the light.

"I know, Remy. I know. I'm sorry I got so angry I just… I don't know. I overreacted. I'm sorry." She turned her back to Remy and bent down to grab her shoes, "I guess a part of me just realized that what you said is probably right-"

Cameron froze. Her skin began to tingle as she felt Dr. Hadley stand close behind her, pressing her hips into Alison's behind and slipping her hands to rest on her hips, keeping them firmly close.

Remy couldn't stand it any longer. This girl had been haunting her for months. Since her arrival at Princeton, all Remy could do was watch, lust, and long. But seeing her bent over like that, so close to her, all that bare skin, she couldn't resist.

"I am right Alison." Remy leaned down so her lips were just inches away from Alison's ear, her wet, suit-clad chest skimming Dr. Cameron's bare back. "I'm right about your relationship with Chase, and I'm right about something else."

"What?" Alison was so shocked with fear she could barely whisper. The warm breath of Remy tickled her cheek, sending goosebumps along the length of her. And the hot pressure of Dr. Hadley's hands, so close to her abdomen, and the feeling of her breasts rubbing her back, had Alison's inside molten hot and dizzying. She was aroused; Remy Hadley had fucking aroused her.

"You can do better." Remy placed a searing kiss against Alison's shoulder and smiled as she felt the woman beneath her release a slight shiver. "You deserve better."

Remy could hold still no longer, and her hands began to move. She moved them up and roamed Alison's taught torso as her lips trailed fire along her neck. She kissed her slow and passionately everywhere she could reach. Alison released a breath she didn't know she was holding when Remy tugged off her bra and her hand finally closed over her aching breast. There, in that moment, Alison had never wanted something, or someone, so badly.

"Remy." Alison hissed as the girl suckled her earlobe and slipped her hand into her jeans. Alison was so worked up she could only clutch Remy's arms, all thoughts of fleeing abandoning her as she grasped the brunette.

This felt fucking amazing. Remy hadn't been this turned on by a woman in years, maybe ever. There was something so ingenuous, yet so tainted about Alison, it was seductive to the extreme. When she felt her palm close over the soft mound of her panties, Remy spun the woman in her arms, careful to keep her hand pressed hard against her thigh, and thrust her hips into her.

"I want you Alison." It was the last thing Alison heard before Remy closed her lips over her own. Alison linked her arms around Dr. Hadley tight, her skin blushed and enflamed as Remy stole her breath away. Her lips quivered around the brunettes, their tongues slipped around each other as Remy's hand pushed past her small panties, rubbing Alison's smooth slit.

Remy swallowed Alison's moan, shocked beyond belief that this woman, who she wanted so badly, was kissing her back and not running away. Her kiss was eager, but slow, hungry, but confident. They enjoyed the taste and the feel of each other in an erotic, forbidden dance. Their hips were pressed tight together, and Remy smiled as her fingers circled the blonde's engorged clit, her pussy soaking against Remy's palm.

Their teeth clicked together as Cameron's hard nipples raked against her and Remy felt herself begin to pool at the crotch of her wet swimsuit. Getting impatient, she shoved Alison, as hard and delicately as she dared, against the locker and latched onto her breast, sucking fiercely as she penetrated her with her fingers.

"God Remy!" Alison cried and Remy began to pump her with her hand.

"You're so damn hot Alison, so fuckin hot baby." Remy lavished her nipple, letting her tongue taste her and swirl about the pink flesh.

In. Out. In. Out. Thrust. Thrust. Thrust. Alison felt like Remy wanted to tear her apart, and she never wanted her to stop. Never, ever, stop.

Remy pumped in and out of her with hard, long strokes, hitting Alison deeper and deeper with each whimper she uttered. Remy was in heaven watching the beautiful woman against her; her angelic face, flushed with passion, her erotic body bent over Hadley's knee, and her eyes, her fucking gorgeous eyes, never leaving her own. Remy realized then and there that she wanted all of her, body and soul. Feeling the blonde's legs shaking, Remy tore her hand from Dr. Cameron and pushed in a third finger, grinding her cunt against Alison's hips.

"Come on baby girl, cum for me, I'm gonna cum to." Alison clutched Remy tight and grabbed for her lips, her climax dragging her off the edge as Remy drank her shrieks and came against her hips.

"Yes, yes…god so damn good." Remy grabbed Alison up to her and placed a gentle kiss to her cheek, smoothing back her hair and holding her close to her. Alison sighed deeply and allowed herself to collapse against Remy as she whispered words of encouragement in her ear.

"Remy?" Thirteen froze. Oh no, she thought, here comes the pity, regret and self righteousness. But the Brunette looked up into the green eyes looming before her and was quite surprised by what she found there. She didn't see regret. She didn't see pity and doubt. She saw fear, but she also saw something else, something that planted a glimmering seed of hope deep down in Hadley's gut. She gave Alison a beaming smile.

Alison smiled back and leaned in to the warm soft cheeks of the woman who'd ravaged her, the girl who'd satisfied her like no other man had ever before.

"I liked that Remy." Alison spoke against Doctor Hadley's lips and placed tiny kisses at the corners of her smile. "I liked that a lot."

"I like you a lot." Remy cupped her face and kissed her softly, tenderly stroking her mouth and searching her essence. Alison froze against the younger brunette's lips, realization falling down on her hard, a broken waterfall of guilt.

"I need to go."

"What? No Alison, wait we need to talk."

Alison grabbed her bra of the floor and rammed all her shit into her bag, tossing a tshirt on that was both inside out and backwards. Flinging the strap over her shoulders, Alison moved away from the lockers but was stopped quickly.

"Alison where are you going?"

"Home." The word was cold and hard; the regret Remy had waited for earlier had finally sunk in.

"No please, don't leave just stay." Remy grabbed her wrists forcefully and pushed Alison back against the locker, holding her hands gently above her head. Alison struggled slightly, her eyes nervous and wild, but determined.

Her body was still warm from their passion and all Alison could fathom was Remy. All she could smell was her, all she could see was her flawless face and stunning features, and all she could feel was Hadley's hands invading her body and the wet mess saturating her underwear. She had taken her. Remy had stolen her away, and they both knew it. Whatever platform of stability, called life, Alison had managed to balance on for the past few years had been knocked away beneath her. And now she was falling, dangling in some emotional abyss of uncertainty by a tiny thread of dignity.

Remy watched as the girl she held pinned slowly relaxed, searching her eyes for some sort of plan, a solution to the torment she was sure swimming through. Still uncertain, Alison leaned in and nipped Remy's lips with her teeth, dragging her into a sweet, languid smooch. "Good bye Remy."

Remy read her quickly. Her eyes were on fire, her brow was furrowed in anger and embarrassment, and her muscles were clenched and taught with aggression. But her eyes, those beautiful green eyes, they told Remy the truth and they didn't want to leave, they spoke the words her mouth wouldn't speak. Alison wanted to stay. Giving her a soft smile, Remy kissed her cheek and released her, turning her back as Dr. Cameron fled the gym.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the reviews guys, I'm glad you're enjoying this as much as I am! Promise I'll update soon. Anyone interested in being my Beta? This is my 1st fic but I'm sure I'll write more, let me know if you'd like the task :)**

In regards to House, the only thing that exceeded his arrogant narcissism was his sex appeal. Alison could see it; from the way he moved, poised even though crippled, the quirk of his eyebrows, the whip of his tongue, even the blue of his eyes, blazing like pits of cobalt. She could acknowledge that he was attractive, just as she could easily acknowledge that he was right about their case. What she couldn't decide, what she couldn't fathom, is why suddenly, he had lost his appeal to her.

Was it the cruelty? Had she finally had enough? The childish antics? Was it because she had Chase, and she no longer needed attention of the male variety? Emotionally, she hadn't felt a thing for the older man in some time, she found him obnoxious, even malevolent, but when had she lost that natural, sexual attraction? Even though she would never contemplate dating him, just the idea she once considered love was asinine, she was a woman, and was not ignorant to the erotic energy he exerted.

What was more mindboggling was Chase. When and why had her lust for him faltered so much? He was good in bed; not the best, but she had managed a few orgasms worthy of merit in their time together. Four days ago, just the thought of his kiss was enough to dampen her panties, make her crave the penetration of his member deep within her. But now, nothing. It had been four days, and there was nothing; no desire, no lust, hell she didn't even miss it. The last time she and her fiancée had sex was that day, that day with the pool…and the water…and Remy.

Post the encounter, Alison had hustled into her apartment almost in shock. Her mind was frazzled, bouncing up and down, but her body was irritatingly relaxed, taught and thrumming like a wire. She'd left her locker-room lover with a buzz, a high from the assault of passion, whose high boundaries she had never reached before. She had collapsed on her bed, with the intent to shower, but when she finally crawled into the bathroom, she could not find the will to step into the water . She couldn't wash away Thirteen's scent, a subtle spice hidden amongst overpowering chlorine, she couldn't scrub away the words the brunette had whispered like prayers against her neck. In fact, Allison was nearly fearful the hard, crisp, streams of the faucet would drown the burning sensations left within her, tugging Dr. Hadley's phantom touch from her flesh and her memory till it was gargled and swallowed down the drain, never to be felt again.

It was the first time Dr. Cameron had submitted to fire, having always preferred the cleansing water could offer her. Her defiance to strip it of her soul, this lustful act with another woman, splashed at her general self concept with an audible hiss, her knowledge and assertions of herself wafting away like steam in the wind. It was in those moments, those two precious hours, she burned. Her mind was plagued with flashes of the younger doctor's body in brilliant hot waves, a soaring inferno that escalated until it broke the barriers of just mere thought and plundered her pliant body, causing her hard nipples to rasp against the sheets as her small hand pleasured her dripping, molten core.

This was the position that Chase found her in, moaning and writhing as she envisioned Remy's tongue wrapped around her clit, her fingers pumping mercilessly. Cameron was taken aback, and nearly terrified, when her fiancée stripped his clothes and climbed onto the bed, thrusting hard into her and bucking in pleasure. It was then she felt the fire sizzle out and the rain claim the broken pieces left of her; and it was after he spilled his seed within her body, that she hid in the shower to scrub him off of her in disgust, silently hoping Remy's touch would still be there.

Since that day, Allison hadn't really given herself time to ponder her raging desire for the other woman. Instead, she immersed herself in work. The medical field is unique in the fact that once on the job, your individual world gets left at the door. Dr. Cameron was aware of this and embraced the simple truism. When she walked into the hospital, scrubs replaced her flirty, sophisticated wardrobe and became a hard, pink, shield, cocooning the human within. She morphed from Allison, the engaged, confused, yet still admirable woman, to Dr. Cameron, savior of lives and healer of pain. From soul to soulless; from human to machine. Personal needs and wants are banished and are replaced with the bindings of a slave; what does my Master want? What does my Master need?

The Master is the people, the public, the patients. As a doctor, Allison was a servant to the community, and while she worked, its demands were furnished above her own. Not all doctors handled themselves with such moral resolve, House for one, but Dr. Hadley did, and it was this common factor that carried them on through the days as they worked side by side. Ignoring the pressure surrounding them, hiding their curiosity and wonder behind their facemasks as they aided the ill, the two women fell into a perfect juxtaposition once more. Any worry the older doctor had about continuing a professional, working relationship with the brunette was quickly swept aside as they fit into a rhythm, feeding off one another as they debunked case after case.

Having just saved their last patient, an elderly woman with a feisty attitude and a pension for hard liquor, Allison finally dropped into an office chair and really let herself think; think about Chase, and House, and her sudden absence of sexual attraction to men in general. She felt like she could smack herself silly before she'd honestly understand what it was that she was feeling and eventually she let herself succumb to a more interesting debacle. Quietly, Allison raised her head up from her arms and turned to observe Remy, slowly peeling away the façade of the calm waters they'd been soaking in for days now.

The girl really was beautiful. If she hadn't noticed before she was all too aware now. Despite her emotional distance and her mind busy at work, her body hadn't failed to notice the casual brush of their arms, the accidental intake of her smell, the stolen, seductive glances being thrown her way. Even though she hadn't addressed it, her essence couldn't help but burst into small, undulating flames when she felt Remy eyeing her down. Allison was obviously starring now and she couldn't care less.

She took in her slight figure, a bit thin but perfectly angular. The gentle swell of her breasts and hips could just be detected past her white lab coat and Cameron ached to feel them pressed against her once more. Her legs were long and slender and no doubt very strong. She was a very agreeable specimen of the female form; not perfect, but pretty fucking close. A familiar fire started to settle between her thighs and Dr. Cameron shifted uncomfortably in her chair.

"Ah, Cameron?" Remy's eyes rose into a smirk as Allison slammed her attention eye-level where it belonged, heat flooding her face in embarrassment. The younger woman started to slowly walk her way, her hips swaying in a promising, erotic beat. She wanted to talk, Allison could see it in her eyes.

"I um, I'm going swimming." Before she could hear a response, the blond leapt from the room and nearly bounded for the elevator, trying to outrun the blazing heat she felt building inside her. She needed to cool off.

Stripping off her offending scrubs, Allison slipped into a shower that was necessary before a swim; quickly ridding herself of the grit and grime accustomed in a hospital, reassuring herself that she was not running away from talking to Remy.

"No," she said to no one in particular, "I'm not running, I'm just delaying a conversation. We should talk. We need to talk," Allison took a deep breath and shuttered, resting her forehead against the white porcelain tiles and allowing the hot stream to drench her spirit, "I want to talk. I want…I want her."

"So have me." Cameron gasped as she felt two slender arms wrap around her middle, a slight breath hitting her shoulder. There was no doubt in her mind who had invaded her privacy, who was gently pulling her body against the full length of their own, Remy had come for her.

Her mind told her to bolt, to throttle the woman, regal her unavailability, and stomp off angry as hell. But she did none of these things. She felt swallowed in guilt, lost, stolen away from something she could not put into words, knowing she was about to cheat on her fiancé again. And she didn't care; she wanted it. She realized then, feeling the steady brunette nuzzle her back, that she really wouldn't be happy with Chase, or maybe any other man again. All that was in her burned in tight coils for Remy Hadley, she had turned Cameron into a dripping pool of want that responded only to her. Allison felt desperation billow up into her throat like a giant choking plume, remembering the words and promises Remy had bestowed with deep kisses only a few days before. She deserved better; Remy was right. But did she have the strength, the courage, to obtain what that better something was? Her resolve torn, she felt herself break in acknowledgement, she was sure of nothing now; her life was scrambled in a blender with no signs of stopping. All she knew, all she could hold on to, was that she was alive, she was breathing, and she wanted the mysterious younger doctor. Wheezing under an invisible pressure, she turned in the woman's arms, linked her own around Dr. Hadley's waste, and quietly began to sob into her shoulder.

Reality struck Remy like lightening when she realized the woman against her was crying, clutching onto her in utter dependence. Uncertainty racked her brain. This was not what she had expected, had she miss read something? There was no debating that Allison wanted her, ten minutes ago the blonde eye-fucked her senseless, her longing look pleading and begging Remy to take her again. And the swim? Remy had taken "I'm going swimming," as an invitation, a silent 'meet me there.' Was she wrong? She expected kisses, not tears, and moans of passion, not the ragged breath of weeping.

Unsure of what to do, Remy grabbed the older woman closer to her and kissed her cheeks, chuckling quietly. "Now what's all this about? You pretty little thing, I never know what to expect with you." Giving her a soft kiss to the corner of her lips, Remy grabbed the shampoo from a toiletry set Allison brought with her, and poured a generous amount into her hands.

Without any more words spoken, Remy began to wash Allison. She started with her hair, enjoying the feeling of the blonde locks running through her hands, a soft scent of jasmine and peaches permeating the air around them. Allison kept her eyes closed and surrendered herself to Remy's ministrations, inhaling deep breaths as tender hands soaped and lathered her body. Dr. Hadley was in awe at her compliance, and softly smiled as she slowly traced each dip and curve of the luscious flesh presented before her. As she rinsed each patch of pale skin, she kissed the newly exposed part, grazing her teeth against each new treasure she uncovered. And Allison's body was a treasure.

She was perfectly proportioned, with long, lean muscles sculpting a runner's build. Beneath Remy's fingertips, she felt firm and soft, mimicking Alison's personality, and the younger doctor shuddered as the effects of her natural beauty engulfed her. Remy had never been one for lots of makeup, fake tans, and even faker tits. Sure, they were fun in bed, a good fuck, but nothing that took her breath away. Nothing strong, honest, pure, and ethereal like Cameron.

Gently rinsing the hot liquid across tight, hard nipples, Remy cupped Allison's breasts, the mounds just barely spilling out of her grasp. The older doctor released a quiet moan and the brunette kissed and suckled at her neck, using her actions to indicate her desire. Turning her, Remy make quick work of her back side, running her hands down Allison's sides and enjoying the feel of her trembling against her. Placing one last kiss to the top of her left thigh, an adorable place Remy had discovered right under a firm buttcheek, Hadley stood and pulled Cameron into a hug, feeling a heavy pool of want settle deep down in her womb. She wanted to take her, then and there. Remy knew without touching her, without tasting her, that Allison would be as wet as she was, and in two seconds or less she could quench their thirst for each other. But she needed restraint.

Cameron needed her, Remy could feel her need to cum against the brunette like a pulsating current of waves, and she wanted Allison just as badly. As much as a quick screw in the shower would refresh her, she wanted to take the blonde to her bed. She wanted to feel her writhing against smooth sheets, under the light of the pale moon that awaited them outside. So with a deep sigh, Remy turned off the water and agonizingly pulled away from Allison, wrapping her lover in a towel and assisting her out of the locker-room shower.

They both dressed in silence, Remy finishing quickly and bending down to tie the laces of Allison's shoes. Having both grown accustomed to the unvoiced conversation that they'd been sharing for near an hour, both of the woman looked startled when Allison broke the calm trance.

"Remy, come home with me." It wasn't a question, or even a plea, it was a demand. Remy reached over and grabbed Allison's hand, nodding a silent answer before releasing her and following her to the garage.

Twelve blocks and ten minutes later, Remy was standing in Allison's living room, surrounded by colors, pictures, and books that made up the blonde's safe haven. "It's nice, I like the green."

"Greene's my favorite color." Cameron strode in from the kitchen and handed Remy a beer. "I think it looks good against all the wood and the exposed brick."

"Did you do this all yourself?" Remy soundlessly dropped onto a white leather sofa and kicked her feet onto the coffee table.

"Yeah. It provided therapy I needed in my first year or so working with House." Both of the women laughed as Allison joined her lover on the sofa.

"What's this?" Remy picked up a placard that had been resting on the couch, a peach linen paper covered in an elegant scrawl. "Love is patient, love is kind… the Corinthians? What is this?"

Allison's brow furrowed and her voice dropped to a sudden monotone. "It's a scripture that we were planning on having read during our ceremony," she took a quick swig of her beer, "for our wedding."

Remy was quite for a moment, the memory of Allison's engagement not spoiling or deterring her of her desire for the unavailable woman. She knew she didn't love Chase, regardless of what they planned to say on their wedding day. "Do you believe that?"

"What? The scripture?"

"Yes, that definition of love."

"I guess yes. I mean, it sounds nice. If I was to define love I'd probably say something similar. Wouldn't you"

"No." Remy looked down and notice Allison had moved closer to her. "No, I think it's a bunch of bullshit." Allison looked up at her confused and slightly unnerved, waiting for the brunette to explain herself.

"Allison, all of those things are nice and all, but it's not really love. Patience? Kindness? I mean, if your love is 'fine, successful, compromising, and practical," Allison smiled, recognizing their previous discussion, "then patient love, and kind love, is great. It's just what you need. But it's not real. It's not real love."

"Well then what is?" Allison placed her hands on her hips and stared defiantly at Remy, Challenging her.

Releasing a deep sigh, Dr. Hadley took a sip of her beer and turned to Allison, looking her dead in the eyes, and leaned in close, her mouth only inches from the blonde's. "Love, Allison, is relentless. Love is unforgiving, and not always kind. It's often painful, and never without complication. But it's reflective of the complexity of our humanity. And, despite all its difficulties, it is the most powerful, beautiful gift we can ever give or receive."

Unable to resist temptation any longer, Remy slipped her hands against Allison's neck and cheek, and drew her in for a sweet, long, torturous kiss; swallowing her lover's quivering breath and believing in every word she'd spoken.


	3. Chapter 3

**For Amazon Life, my first Beta ever. And thank you to all who added this story to their favorites and reviewed. You are all quite encouraging!**

Time stood still. Dr. Cameron felt her heart stop as she watched the younger woman inch towards her. The words she had said, the way she gently held her firmly against her, readying her for the lust she was about to unleash, clenched the pericardial chambers within her. Beautiful eyes swam towards her amongst a sea of dark hair. With urgency, the woman realized she would die if Remy did not place her lips against her own; her heart would only beat to the tune of this woman. Her words, her hands, her lips, only she could start the thrumming of her insides; the wild, erratic, dance of love her heart would begin against the confines of her ribcage. With a quick breath and a seal of their mouths, Remy freed her, and the blonde felt herself come alive against the enthrallingly striking woman, her heart hammering away in-between them.

Allison's head was beginning to spin. Butterflies had exploded deep down in her tummy and they were quickly flocking upwards, dazzling in bright colors behind her eye lids and spiraling out of her mouth in little moans. Remy slowly worked across her lips, suckling, nipping, pressing softly, gently demanding more. Cameron felt a tingling sensation erupt along her sides as the younger woman's hands traced invisible words of want and desire against her exposed flesh. Gasping, the blond broke for air and clung to the woman above her, ceasing their movement with an arm she wrapped instinctively around her partner's waste.

"Remy, wait." The brunette froze as she placed a tempting little smooch against the corner of the older doctor's mouth and smiled. "Remy we shouldn't...we can't keep doing this...what am I going to do-" the blonde was silenced with a delicate hand.

"We should do this Allison, we should do this and so much more. And we should do it as long as we can get away with it. I don't know what you're going to do later, but right now, you're going to take my hand, and you're going to take me to your bedroom. 'Cause I want you, and you want me, and that's all that matters."

Allison was up and dragging Remy to the calming, satin and peach room before her mind registered what her feet were doing. Swinging open the door, she faintly became aware of nails rasping against her stomach, pulling her tank top off and tossing it into the air. Hadley was stripping her. One by one, articles of clothing soared through the air, hitting the floor like little bombs of doubt and delirium that diffused Allison's mind into a bleak pool of needy uncertainty. Why can't I say no to her? What is happening to me? Why do I want her so bad? Why can't I stop myself? I don't want to stop, ever, is that really a problem?

Feeling Remy's hard nipples graze her own, Allison choked up a moan and attached herself to the woman's neck, slowly licking at her nape, nipping a path to an earlobe that she flicked with a wet tongue. Raw need crept across Hadley's face in a sexy blush that slowly started to trickle down her chest, and Allison followed the trail with her lips, a hunger aching deep in her womb for the touch of the woman beneath her.

Pushing gently, Allison watched as the beautiful woman tumbled to her bed, instantly gratified seeing the brunette's skin engulfed in her sheets. She felt a surge of confidence as the younger woman's eyes fluttered with slight hesitance, an endearing, humbling expression that forged equality between them; they were both scared shitless.

Settling herself to a kneel at Remy's feet, Cameron gripped a tiny foot and drug a kiss across her toes, hoping to install as much tenderness as she'd felt when Remy bathed her. Slowly, she let her mouth and tongue follow an enigmatically familiar track up the younger woman's thigh, enjoying the moans and sighs she unearthed with each simple touch. Remy made her feel powerful. She quivered, groaned, and gasped with even the briefest of contact; a dark, wet shadow growing against the colorful expanse of her little, panty-clad pussy. Before she even started adorning the other leg with her attention, she could smell the girl's need for her. It wafted in the air and stormed her senses, devouring her logical brain until every thought, every feeling, and every desire was to pleasure Remy.

"Please Allison…" the girl squirmed in need and thrust her hips as the blonde bit slightly at the edge of her panties, the only barrier not already on the floor where it belonged.

Languidly, Allison positioned herself in-between the girl's legs, tracing a finger up and down her wet slit. Remy gasped aloud and jerked off the bed as she felt Allison nudge her clit with her nose through the thin lace of her underwear, a hot, wet tongue lapping at her opening. Allison licked her hard, pushing the flat of her mouth at her covered crotch and sucking till Remy began to plea for more. She wouldn't make Remy beg; the woman had both pleasured her and cared for her without demanding a thing from Allison, and she would gladly reward the girl for this. Slipping off the offending garment, Allison spread the folds of the woman beneath her and smiled, watching Remy drip in her desire for her. She wanted to taste her, but she had to touch her first. Slowly, she ran a digit from the dimple of her asshole all the way up to her clit and rubbed, Remy nearly screamed beneath her.

"You're so fucking wet for me, Remy." Allison gasped, feeling her own cunt pool onto the sheets beneath her, "So Goddamn beautiful." Stretching both arms across her taut tummy, the older woman cupped and squeezed both of the girl's breasts, working her nipples as her mouth setting against her clit.

"Oh God!" Remy's fingernails dug into her arms, pinning Allison there as she lapped at her slit, drinking the juices that flowed from her lover's body. Rubbing her clit with her nose, the blonde pointed her tongue and slipped between the folds that quivered against her face, pushing into her hard and deep, curling her tongue inside her. Remy was hot and tight, fluttering against her mouth. Pulling one hand from her breasts, Allison plunged a finger inside of her soaked pussy and wrapped her lips around the brunette's swollen clit.

Hadley gripped at her as much as she could, sputtering meaningless words as hot coils tightened in her belly and Allison fucked her hard. "Allison, I'm gonna cum." The blonde didn't respond but pushed another finger inside her, pumping furiously, each thrust slamming into her cervix with devastating pleasure. Placing a quick kiss to her hip bone, she bit her clit and watched in amazement as Remy Hadley came undone beneath her. Her legs shook and raised them both off the bed as her insides squeezed at Allison's still hand and her hips thrust against her face. Cameron wondered if she looked as beautiful, if her lips looked as kissable, as Remy did when she came.

Chuckling happily as a look of utter bliss settled against Remy's cheeks, Allison slid up along the woman's side and pressed kisses to her forehead and lips. Hadley rested her head on the older woman's shoulder and daftly drew pictures on her bare tummy with trembling hands. Allison sighed and wrapped her arm around the intelligent doctor and held her against her side as she settled on her back, enjoying the heavy quite that surrounded them.

"I thought I was the only woman you've ever been with before." Remy teased her and nuzzled her neck.

"I never said that."

"You didn't have to. You're so straight it hurts."

"Was. I was straight. And I haven't done that before, but I take it I didn't do too badly." Allison laughed with pride and placed a kiss on top of Remy's head as she felt the woman drop her hand low, grazing her hip bone.

"You are amazing." She said it and believed it. Remy loved fucking straight women, they were so naive about lesbian sex it was attractive, but she hated always having to be the teacher. Allison's ability to trust herself and do what felt natural wasn't a surprise; it was just something else the brunette could admire her for. "I knew you'd be a good fuck the second I laid eyes on you."

Remy didn't let Allison reply, she swallowed her words with a deep kiss as she slipped her hand beneath the confines of the blonde's panties and stroked her tenderly. Allison broke the kiss with a gasp, feeling a wet dribble coat her thigh.

"I love how aroused you get for me," Remy circled her nipple with her hot mouth as she lay on her side, pressed against Allison. "You're so fucking hot."

With one arm cradling the older woman's neck, the other slipped inside, slowly spreading her open and pushing in her deep. Remy wrapped her lips around Allison's breasts and began sucking in earnest, her own body twitching in reply to Cameron's shakes and cries. The heel of her palm was pushed against Allison's clit with each stroke of her hand, and every inch of the blonde was crooning with pleasure. A sticky resonance of her fingers gliding in and out of Cameron's wet entrance saturated the air, each stroke a deep, steady strum that traced the rhythm of the heart that pounded against Remy's ear.

Cameron shrieked in need and Hadley gathered momentum as she pumped into the blonde, leaving her clutching, grasping, and pleading for more. Breaking away from her breasts, Remy kissed her chin and watched her face, following every curl of her lips, every twitch of her eyes, and every quiver of her brow, determined to give her the release she so desperately needed.

"Shit I'm…I'm…" several more thrusts and Allison clenched passionately around the skilled fingers of her brunette lover, her lips claiming her own and stifling the yelp that nearly escaped as Allison came crashing down. Remy sighed with satisfaction in the kiss, holding Allison's lips until they both couldn't breathe and the fire of Cameron's flesh had expired to little more than ashes.

"God." Allison opened her eyes and relaxed against the sheets, inhaling deeply. It was a simple statement but it spoke volumes. Both were astonished, even slightly intimidated, by the physical reactions they could irk from each other. The air was thick with the smell of their love-making and a tension to speak, a pressure so tangible that both woman buckled beneath it and could only smile sadly at one another, neither voicing themselves for fear of what they might say.

Remy bit her lip and twisted the sheets around her legs in frustration. There was so much she wanted to verbalize, needed to express, but she couldn't find the words to articulate what was on her mind, she didn't even know if she could fathom them. They simply eluded her, scurrying away from her like prey from a hunter, leaving her empty handed and aloof.

"Remy, let's not go to work tomorrow."

"Why?" Though they didn't officially have a case, Allison was surely needed in her own department. "You've got an E.R. to look after, and besides, House would be so lonely without me." Hadley smiled with sarcasm.

"They'll be fine for one more day without me. I just feel like we need time. We need time and space and we need it together." Remy regarded Allison doubtfully. She agreed they needed to talk, but the very idea of acknowledging what she was feeling was terrifying and she knew she wasn't ready to discuss it in any capacity. "It's going to be just as uncomfortable talking about it tomorrow as it would be in twenty years, Remy. I for one don't have time to mess around with this, I'm supposed to walk down an aisle in two months. Please give me tomorrow?"

It was the first time Allison had asked her for something and Remy found herself granting her desire despite her own trepidation. Why did this feel so difficult? It had been five days and two orgasms, and her life felt upside down. What was more conflicting was that it felt good. She liked the vertigo she experienced with Allison, the excitement, the fear, the passion. The doctor knew next to nothing about her older peer but it didn't seem to matter. She knew her intimately, in a way she'd never experienced even with her closest lovers. That was all that mattered. Remy's admonition echoed throughout the hollow of her core, bouncing across bits and pieces of her heart she didn't even know she had.

"Ok. I'll stay tomorrow." Allison smiled at Hadley's slight reluctance and rewarded her with a squeeze on her hip. "At least we can sleep in." A frank giddiness glided over Cameron as the brunette pulled the sheets up around them, Remy turning in the cocoon of Allison's arms and pressing her back to the older woman's chest.

They both yawned and settled deeper into the satin that surrounded them, Allison holding Remy as close as she dared. "Remy," she quickly broke the silence, "you feel good here. I like it."

"I know."


	4. Chapter 4

**sorry guys, this took me forever to update...my laptop was kidnapped...but now all is well with the world. hope you like! **

An old mantel clock ticked in the distance, its faint noise the only sound that could be heard over the light breaths of Allison sleeping. She lay on her stomach, one arm wrapped around a pillow and the other tossed across Remy's waist, her cheek nuzzled against the brunette's arm. Unlike Allison, Remy had not surrendered herself to sleep, that peaceful escape eluded her, and she was left with the quiet of the night and the faint light of the stars for company.

With little else to do, she let her mind wonder, considering every twist and turn she could follow on the path that was Allison Cameron. It would be easy to let her go, tell her to forget everything, marry the man she doesn't love, or find one she does. It would be righteous and noble, self-sacrificing. It would be responsible of her to end this lurid affair, stop it before it moved any further, preventing the emotions that were bubbling down tight in her gut from boiling over where all could see them. She didn't need those emotions. She didn't need love, companionship, or adoration. For a long time now, all Remy Hadley had ever needed was the occasional touch of another human being, a simple reminder that she was breathing, she was alive in a thriving world. Now, after Allison, that would never be enough.

That occasional touch would be nothing unless it was from her hand. A kiss wouldn't be a kiss, just a slight imitation. A quick fuck would be a nauseating tease of discontentment. An irrational wave of anger lapped at Remy's shore of consciousness, she couldn't return to the way things were, the way things should be, and it was all Allison's fault. It was her fault because she was beautiful, breathtaking even under the gravest of circumstances. It was her fault because her voice was so sweet, sticking like honey in Remy's ears, so intoxicating she wanted to kiss the sound right out of her and embody it for eternity. It was her fault because her touch was like ambrosia, a gift from the Gods, nourishing and strong with every swift stroke of her hands. It was her grace, her giddiness, her worry, the slight wrinkle of her brow when she was thinking, the quiver in her voice when she was scared, the way she walked and turned every eye, the way she made Remy burn for her; it was all these things, and it was her fault.

A startling revelation of how attached she was to the blonde hit Remy like a tsunami. Sexually, she had lusted for the woman for nearly a year. The slow ache of need had boiled like a stew, heating for months and months, becoming more enticing and more invigorating with each passing day. But this new thing, this emotional hunger for her soul, was running rampant. Swiftly, it had overturned her resolve and swallowed her hole, much like a capsized ship in a swirling vortex lost at sea. With one look, as she first made her cum in the locker room, Remy was hooked. At that moment she was drugged, and now, not a week later, she was addicted. She needed her; a personal brand of nicotine that coursed through her veins and wouldn't be satiated.

Groaning with frustration, Remy traced the small, black fleur de lis tattoo that inconspicuously graced the pale flesh at the bottom of her right shoulder blade. The mark was beautiful and very much a surprise. No doubt it was a symbol of integrity on Allison's part, a moment declaring wild passion, exuberance, assertiveness, the secret daredevil that lived caged behind her soft, dove-like soul. Cameron was strong and in control, but for all of her aggression and command she was not hard. That was Remy's forte. Allison was like a fancy crème brulee, you could see the crust, the tough stuff, but it's thin, and crème seeps through it, oozing deliciously at her top. She was goo wrapped in a tough shell. What was amazing about Allison, what was almost darling, was that she knew herself; she knew everyone could see the goo through her sparsely veiled shell, and she didn't give a flying fuck.

A pink dawn settled through the window and invaded Remy's thoughts, chasing them away back into the bleakness from where they had emerged. Inside, Remy was like this light. Warm, subtle, luminous, and playful. It was kept like a secret, hidden away in a dungeon without hope of ever surfacing. She had all most forgotten it, the little sliver of radiance, for all she was now, and all she ever would be, was the dark. A black, withered thing.

For years it had wiped everything out, every thought, feeling, and dream, leaving a vast, empty shell. That's all that she was; a rotten, hollowed out tree, incapable of living. Allison made her feel the light, made her be who she wished she could be, forgetting reality and her deadly affliction. Remy felt whole in the older woman's company, she felt safe, secure, protected from the dark. Without her, Remy knew she'd slip into the daunting abyss, and would surely never surface. It's too hard to live in the light when the shadow of death loomed overhead.

Even after hours of pondering their current situation, Remy still was ambiguous about their next few steps. While she wasn't certain of Allison's heart, she knew her own. She had moved too quickly, advanced into something much further than she ever would have, had she taken the time to really think about what she was doing. In that past week with Allison, her body moved to the beat of her heart, her limbs answering its fervent cry for passion and ignoring the smart, badgering electrical stimuli of her brain. Her mind said 'No,' and her body, in an unexpected coop, said 'Fuck you Brain! Charge!'

Remy had always liked to think of herself as an unstoppable force, a cat, a tigress, sly and cunning, hunting and devouring her prey before they even knew what had hit them. She'd pick up random women in bars, use them for her pleasure, and discard them in the morning; like the bones after a tasty meal. Where had that cat gone when Dr. Cameron skipped around her jungle of pleasure? Where did that charming, elusive, mammal hide and why wasn't it reclaiming its throne of power and prominence? She needed to regain control.

Allison yawned and stretched, the sheets sliding down her torso and unveiling a small, taught tummy. Daftly, her hands sought out her lover and she smiled as Remy grabbed them in response. Leaning slightly, Hadley pressed a kiss against the older woman's lips. Allison opened her eyes and stared deep into Remy, a seductive gesture that pulled at the brunette's loins.

"Hi." The blonde sidled up next to her and squeezed her tight.

"Good morning," Remy slid a lock of stray hair away from Allison's mesmerizing gaze, "You look so surprised."

"I half expected you to be gone."

A slight ripple of guilt fluxed across Remy's resolve. The idea of leaving had crossed her mind numerous times that night. But as she lay here now, with dawn sweeping across the woman's frame, casting brilliant light across her sparkling hair and pretty white smile, she couldn't imagine being anywhere else.

"Nope. Not this time." Her answer was quiet and suggested hope of a 'next time.'

"Would you like breakfast? I can make coffee…eggs…I have fresh raspberries."

"Fresh raspberries huh," Remy pulled the woman on top of her and languidly smooched her sweet, sexy lips. "I'd love to try your raspberries," she trailed down her neck and latched onto a turgid nipple. "Every. single. one." She'd punctuated each word with a kiss to the body above her. "First though, I need to shower."

Allison jumped from the bed, not bothering to hide her body from the gazing woman still wrapped in sheets. Padding into the bathroom, Remy watched as the blonde grabbed a towel and started the water, a hot steam immediately imbibing the large adjoined room.

"Here you are, lovely," Allison handed her the towel and kissed her cheek softly "I'll leave out something for you to wear. I'll be in the kitchen."

Stepping into the muggy stream, goose bumps undulated across her tight flesh, the temperature a slight shock to her drowsy body. A shower was just what she needed. It was hot, fresh, lifting away her unease and uncertainty in billows of steam. Quickly, she scrubbed her body clean, the familiar scent of Allison's soap bringing a secret smile to the brunette's exquisite face. She rinsed her hair of rosey shampoo and stopped as a soft sound sundered around the bath tiles and enveloped her senses; it was a light, cherry, echo, musical and sweet. Allison was singing. She was singing while she cooked breakfast.

Conditioning her hair as fast as she could, Remy sighed and took a deep breath, the gentle music of her secret love's voice pulling her lips into a radiant smile of contentment as hope swelled within her. I can do this. I can do this every morning. She can sing and make breakfast, and I can shower, and I can be happy. I can do this. We could do this. It's kind of pitiable, but we can work.

She dried herself off and slipped the jeans and the white t-shirt on that Alison had left for her. The top hugged her nicely, tight across her flat belly and breasts, her nipples hard and erect, demanded attention. The jeans were slightly larger than her own and hung loose, riding low on her hips, the black band of her borrowed underwear barely peeking out. It felt good to Remy. It felt good to be there, wrapped in Allison's clothes, in her home, in her life. Remy could get used to this. Not that she dared to do so.

Quietly walking into the kitchen, she watched as the blond buttered some bread, still humming and slightly moving her jean-clad hips in time with her private song. Unable and unwilling to stop herself, Remy wrapped her arms around the woman and pressed kisses to her neck, pulling her back to her chest tightly.

"Looks delicious."

Allison turned in her arms and led her to a small table. "You're delicious."

Marked by the gently chiming of the old clock, the hours passed quickly and without incident. They talked of work, of their personal time, their families, excitements, disappointments, past loves, their hopes and desires, everything. The striking pair spent their first morning together learning each other, talking about themselves, avoiding the 'us' discussion that they knew lay imminent overhead like a temptuous rage.

Finishing her third cup of coffee, Remy quickly stood and offered Allison her hand, pulling her from the chair that had bore witness to their exchange. The young brunette was curious and somewhat vexed; she was not a talker, but she had spilled her relative guts to the woman before her. Not that it had come easy, Allison had spent the first hour relaying as much as she could of herself, her gentle smile, the occasional contact of her hand, her eyes begging and pleading to play along, to play the game. She'd drawn information out of her younger peer slowly, plucking her soul from the deep blue much like a fisherman reeling in a combative fish. The girl felt long ribbons being jerked from her with each passing question, the thin twine that had resided, coiled so tightly, around Remy's heart unraveling and now tethered to Allison's pole, a waiting embrace. She'd captured Hadley's heart, the real deadliest catch. Not that Remy had any intention of relaying that information to the blonde she now guided outside.

They'd agreed that a walk around the neighborhood park would be nice, it was beautiful and they'd likely have it all to themselves. It was the end of fall, and leaves littered the ground in bright, flickering masses, pilling up and crunching amongst dead, yellow grass. Allison hooked her arm through Remy's and drew their bodies closer as a swift zephyr, biting with cold, fluttered about the empty confines of the park.

"Remy?"

"Allison?" The brunette bit her lip as she felt the bottom of her stomach flip over, a nauseous dread wrapping around her like a blanket. Remy sent a quick prayer up to whatever God was watching that the blonde was going ask her what kind of tree she liked, or make some mundane comment about the weather and how they should have grabbed scarves to go along with their boots and coats.

"We need to talk about us."

Remy scuffed and kicked a rock. This was why the ambitious young woman never prayed; her requests, no matter how small, seemed to go by completely ignored. "Thank you God," she thought, "fuck you very much."

Allison didn't notice, or didn't mention, Remy tense against her and continued quietly. "You make me feel things, Remy. Things that I shouldn't feel. I'm engaged, I'm supposed to be happy and in love, but I'm not. I never was. But I was ok with that; I could be content with just settling. But now…now I don't know anything anymore. I forgot these feelings were real, I'd turned them into a fairytale and burned them from my memory."

Remy was silent but grabbed Allison's hand, terrified of what she might say, and listened politely. "It's not like I was planning to settle, I didn't even realize I was settling until you told me I was. And now, I can't stop thinking about what you said, that I deserve better, and you're right. And I want it, I want something better. I'm leaving Chase. Not for you, well, not completely, but I can't marry someone I don't really love. I'd rather be happy just dating someone than be bored to death and married."

Allison wandered over to a swing and plopped down, gripping the chains against her sides and shoved off with her feet. "Fuck Remy, I'm such an idiot, I don't know how I walked into this. I knew he made me miserable, what was I waiting for? He's never gonna change, he's not going to suddenly spawn into the person of my dreams."

Surprised relief flooded the brunette's insides, stifling any attempt she had to speak as she gazed into Allison's beautiful eyes, bright and bold against the dull gray of the cloudy sky. Without really thinking about it, she approached the woman's side and gently began to push her, enjoying the feeling of catching her and relinquishing her back to the momentum.

"I don't know what to really expect with us Rem, but I'm happy with you. I mean sure, sometimes I feel flustered and irritated and confused, but I think we could be fun. My life's so much more…just _more_ with you in it."

It wasn't as bad as Remy had anticipated. She'd expected Allison to bequeath her with undying love, demanding her heart and soul for all eternity or something equally pathetic. But she seemed logical, rational, accepting what they had and not begging for something Remy couldn't give, even though she partially had it already.

"Allison Cameron," Remy smiled and stopped the swing, pulling the woman closer to her and leaning over her shoulder, whispering in her ear. "Are you saying you wanna date me?"

"Yeah, I think I am. I wanna be your girlfriend." Allison smiled, a quiet blush spreading pink across her cheeks in embarrassment. "I might not be a very good one, but you sure as hell aren't perfect. And besides, we're really cute together you know."

Remy turned and kneeled in front of the girl, grabbing with chains of the swing and resting her forehead against the older doctor's. "No, we're really fucking hot together Allison. There's nothing cute about me, but you're adorable. I guess you could be my girlfriend, for a little while."

Allison's brow wrinkled and she pouted somewhat timidly, "Only a little while? What the hell does that mean?"

Remy moved her lips to the blondes before she could answer, a deep wind of passion exploding within her as she tugged Allison from the swing, falling on her back with Allison on top of her. They barely broke to breathe, instead they were happy to devour each other's lips and tongues, their hands touching everywhere they could reach.

Allison stopped and drew in a deep breath, her body tingling against Remy's own as she pulled leaves from the brunette's hair. "Take me home Remy. I wanna fuck you crazy."

Somewhere deep inside her head Remy heard a splash and she knew instantly where her sly tigress had gone. Amongst gentle waves and an unbridled current, she'd drowned, drowned and died in the abyss that was Allison, the beautiful woman who now led her back to her bed.


	5. Chapter 5

**So this is way overdue, but I'd like to continue this fic. I loved writing it and I loved all of your responses. Let me know if I should continue!**

_**Insanity**__; __such unsoundness of mind or lack of understanding as prevents one from having the mental capacity required by law to enter into a particular relationship, status, or transaction or as removes one from criminal or civil responsibility._

Allison read the definition thoroughly, skimming over the dry description with weary eyes. Hair up in a pony tail, the blonde felt confounded, finding no comfort in Webster's prosaic account of her feelings. She felt insane, she felt demented, deranged, maniacal, and just fucking wacky. She'd grabbed the old textbook, buried on House's bookshelf, seeking some answer to assuage her emotions, alleviate her fears of her present and future; but the dictionary was no magic-eight ball.

What she was considering was insane, nearly asinine. Tonight, amongst a haze of alcohol and tears, she would leave Chase. She would dismantle a perfectly reasonable, happy-though-loveless, miserable-yet-content, relationship. Not that _that_ was the issue, not that _that_ was insane. That happened every day, to couples worldwide, people break up when they realize that they're not meant to be. That was normal. What wasn't normal, what wasn't sane, was that she would be doing this, breaking his heart and their engagement, for a woman whom Allison barely knew.

In Allison's defense, she wasn't just some woman, not just some run-of-the-mill average human of the female variety. She was amazing. Dr. Remy Hadley was beautiful, exquisite, strikingly intelligent, poised with a grace almost inhuman and softened with an enigmatic resolve that was nearly terrifying. She was like a goddess; wraithlike and mysterious. However, unlike a goddess, immortal and eternal, Remy wasn't permanent.

They hadn't spoken a word about Remy's disease, not that they did much talking at all when they were together, but Allison knew enough from House and others that the woman who had captured her, swept her away from her reality, was dying. It was a slow death, full of pain, suffering. It would be terrible for her, and terrible for anyone who would endure it along her side. Somehow, in the mix of her lust and curiousness, Allison had logged this information about the younger doctor and taken it for granted. It wasn't that she had forgotten it, but in Allison's usual way, the affliction made Remy appear even more attractive, even more dangerous. It didn't define who the woman was, but it greatly shaped her character; and her character was what excited Cameron in numerous facets.

Dr. Cameron didn't know what she could really expect out of the relationship she was establishing with Remy, but she felt somehow it was worth it. If they could be together and happy, even for a short while, it was worth leaving Chase. This relationship was worth it if they could find a little peace, if it offered something demanding value, if it was as fascinating, enjoyable, and as passionate as it alluded to being. Yes, Allison was sure, even if it was short and she lost her in the end, it would be worth it. Was that insane?

Allison had already run this circus once; she had loved and lost, married and lost. Tiny pieces of her had died when her late husband left this world; snippets of her youth, chunks of hope, a dash of faith here and there. She'd buried all these little bits of herself when the only man she'd ever really loved was lowered into the ground, tucking them tidily against his unbeating heart in the security of the black, closed casket, never to escape. And they remain there, they didn't escape, they would forever be with him. But, in the holes those fragments left, new things had grown; new hope, new faith, an appreciation of her adulthood and the inherited qualities of age. She'd regained all she had lost with her husband, was it crazy to take the chance to lose it all again? Was that worth it? Was she worth it? Her happiness, her sanity? Though she wouldn't admit it yet, she'd fallen fast for the younger girl. If she fell for her, couldn't she just as easily, just as quickly, fall for someone else? Someone who wouldn't die and leave her so early in life?

Allison balked at her pondering because she already knew the answer; yes, it was worth it, and no one else would satisfy her. She had to have Remy. Heaving a stifled sigh, Allison tossed the dictionary back to its lonely, neighborless shelf. Surrounded by dust, she quickly realized that she was like the book; full of meaning, reason, logic, and alone. The blonde rifled through her purse hastily and retrieved the book she'd been reading, a piece by Eckhart Tolle, and slid it beside the dictionary, leaning it alongside the ancient text so their binding touched.

"There," she said, tucking a piece of tissan hair behind her ear, "Alone no more."

Satisfied with herself, she smiled, but the gesture soon drizzled to a frown when she'd realized she was concerned for the wellbeing of a book. "Fuck Allison, they might as well as put a picture of you under 'insanity'." She grumbled to herself and grabbed her bag, already late for her last dinner with Chase.

A very short drive later she saw him. He was lounging candidly, quietly flirting with the older waitress who settled him with a drink, probably scotch. Alison watched silently through the window, neon green and red lights from the stoplight next to her bouncing off the panel of the little restaurant where she would be sitting. It was weird to watch him like this, like he was a specimen under a microscope, living and moving and completely unaware that he was being observed. He was such a nice man.

From his gentle good looks and his handsome accent, there was nothing really disagreeable about Robert Chase. He was intelligent, charming, caring, and he would make an excellent life partner. He could offer her a nice life, with a nice house, and nice children. But while he kicked up his Italian loafers, awaiting his fiancé, Dr. Cameron found new feelings dwelling low in her gut: fuck nice.

Nice didn't get you anywhere. It didn't make your dreams come true, didn't make you excited to fall asleep to dream about it, didn't make you long and yearn to hold its hand, didn't drive you crazy contemplating how to make it smile. Nice was _just_ nice. And Allison was tired of it, and was tired of being the _nice_ girl. Now, she wanted something fantastic. Something fabulous, so worthy of merit it didn't even have a name. It was an emotion that blinded her heart and soul and made everything feel white, warm, and silky. It made nice look like a paper cut in comparison to the open heart surgery that was threatening to burst from within her. With newfound inspiration and a peace that made her feel resolute, Alison Cameron opened the door and stepped inside.

"Hello, beautiful." His words were sad as she found her seat opposite him. There was a dreary look in his eyes; he had hated her distance in the past two weeks and he dreaded the words he expected to fall from her pretty little lips.

"Hi Chase." There was a pregnant pause that filled the air between them like sand. It was thick and hard to feel through. So they both sat quietly for a few minutes and listened to others around them enjoying their evening. The waitress returned to their small table and asked for their orders, breaking the sand-wall and sending the dust scattering around the room in a crazy haze in Cameron's mind. He requested pasta and another drink, and Alison settled for water.

"Not hungry, dear?"

"No, I'm not staying long." She didn't even bother to remove her coat, only clutching it tighter around her. It was Remy's jacket; she'd grabbed it out of her car to protect her from the nip of the fall air she knew would chafe her outside. The clean linen smell of laundry and soft lavender, that could only be Dr. Hadley, gave her comfort she didn't know she was seeking. Her brow furrowed and she lifted her hand, and slowly pulled off the ring that had sat on her finger for months. "I can't do this Chase. I don't want it anymore."

She placed the ring in front of him quietly, not daring to look up. She could feel his gaze burning against the top of her hand.

"Why?" It was a quite sound and was heavy with pain, causing Cameron to flick her eyes up towards Robert's.

"Because it's all wrong, Chase. I should never have said yes. I'm not in love with you. I don't want to marry someone I don't love."

He sighed and rubbed his hands together, placing them against his forehead in a silent prayer to his secret God. "Who are you in love with then?"

She was taken aback, she hadn't expected him really to question her and if he had she was planning on leaving before she had to answer him. But like all things, life rarely goes as planned.

"What?"

"You said you're not in love _with me_. You could have just said you're not in love. Period. The "with me" part means you're in love with somebody else. Are you having an affair? You're cheating on me?"

The waitress laid down a basket of bread with a happy smile and offered Cameron a second to organize her thoughts. "I'm not cheating on you Chase, because I'm no longer in a relationship with you."

"So you were cheating on me." He shook his head in disbelief. "Well aren't you going to apologize?"

"No." Cameron stood and grabbed her purse. "I'm not sorry. Good-bye Chase, I'll see you at work."

"Fuck you." He muffled into his hands, gripping his face and holding back unforced tears.

Allison turned and reached for door, liberation and freedom carrying her back to her car. She was proud and surprised at her strength. That wasn't so bad. That was easy.


End file.
